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Job Hunting is So Much Fun!
Said literally no one ever. Seriously, this has got to be the Biggest Bullshit of a experience ever in society. I hate job hunting , and I will explain why with my Top 10 Things I . I am writing to you to express my interest in paying bills, student loans, and most of all my passion of not starving to death! I have been skilled in all of these qualities since graduating in a chest-high pool of debt and sorrow. I think you will find my skillset relevant and helpful to the preppy white-collar enslaving asshole company you're hiring from. Fuck you so much for you time and I hope you have an ass-ome day. If you'd like to reach out to me, you can contact me via my phone number 666-696-6969 or preferably by email (fuckrecruiters@fuckalljobs.com). Thank you again! Sincerly, All the People Fed Up With the Job Market's Bullshit 3. Networking Fuuuuck everything having to do with Networking. I'd literally rather be waterboarded buy a morbidly obese guy that smells like cheese than make a Linkedin. Why'd I do that crap anyway? Just to get stalked by people I went to high school with that I never cared about that suddenly wants to "network" with me and get a job off of me somehow ? No, fuck that. And fuck any employer that thinks you can't be a quality employee without having this cancerous "Linkedin" garbage that literally says nothing about the content of your character other than you're a social butterfly that likes attention. 2. The Inexusable Laziness on the Part of the Recruiter. Easily one of my least favorite things in all about all this garbage. Recruiters are lazier than fucking college freshman, and that's saying something. They expect you do do everything under the sun on their part, which completely fracking defeats the purpose of them being a RECRUITER. ''They expect you to give them the resume, sell yourself, be a brilliant fucking candidate, reach out to them, drop everything for your silly little 7-min phone interview that's nothing but you asking me everything that's already on my fucking resume, reach out to the hiring manager all the way up the chain to the CEO and worship his shoes and back. And don't get me on the recruiter apologist brigade, those assholes. "OMGz u Gotta FollOW up w/phone call && email!! To Show dat urR interested in the PosiTion!!11!!!!!one". BISH, gtfo. Obviously I'm interested in the damn position, otherwise '''I literally would not have applied to-fucking-begin-with.' 1. Ghosting. Seriously, What. The. Fuck. Fuck companies that do this. For those that dont know, "Ghosting" is when you apply to a job and actually get somewhere in the process (like phone screen, interview, etc) and suddenly the employer/recruiter completely ignores you and pretends like you never even applied. How completely fucking rude and unprofessional. I dedicate time and efforts for you, interview with you, and you give me the cold shoulder? How absolutely fucking pleasant. And by pleasant, I mean the spiritual equivalent of rubbing your genitals against a cheese grader. That's how fucking awful getting ghosted is. So that's my Bottom 10 list of Things I Like About Job Hunting! Let me know what you think in the comments, or if anything I should talk about next, since the Ruler of this crappy website is dead (again). Category:Pages Category:Important Topics